Arranging a Funeral - Your Life Assist

What to do when a loved one dies

The first immediate steps will depend on where the death has occurred e.g. at home, in hospital or nursing home, by accident, or interstate/overseas.
You only need to make essential calls initially.
Don’t feel pressured into making immediate decisions before you have had time to discuss your needs with family and friends.
Be informed of the many options available before selecting a funeral director.

Planning a Funeral

Check for a Will, pre-paid funeral or funeral insurance/bond. Also for Birth, Marriage and Citizenship Certificates.
Be informed of the many options available before selecting a funeral director.
Request a quote with a breakdown of costs over the phone so you can compare the services offered by a funeral director.
Take a family member/s or friend with you when speaking with a funeral director, to help ask questions about options and costs, and assist with making difficult decisions.
Most importantly, you should feel comfortable with the funeral director, and be reassured they understand the type of funeral you want to arrange.

Wills, Probate, Estates and Public Trustees

Having a Will makes it easier for the family members left behind, to ensure they can follow the deceased’s wishes.
If there isn’t a Will, then the law (within each State or Territory) will decide where your assets will go, after your death.
Be clear about what are considered to be ‘estate’ assets, as apart from ‘non-estate’ assets, when making out your Will
Having a Will allows you to appoint someone you trust to act as your ‘Executor’, otherwise the Public Trustee may be appointed as the ‘Executor’.
The ‘Executor’ will need to apply for Probate, which is essentially official recognition that a Will is legally valid and gives permission to proceed with administering the ‘estate’.

Funerals for Babies, Children and Teenagers

For parents it is important that you take your time. You will need to make a decision regarding how involved you wish to be in arranging your child’s funeral.
Your child is unique, so consider how to personalise their service to express their personality and their importance in your lives.
Speak to your funeral director about spending time with your child after they have died.
Check for eligibility for assistance from government services.

How much will a Funeral cost?

Set a budget and have a clear idea of the type of funeral you want before meeting with a funeral director.
Request a quote with a breakdown of costs over the phone, so you can compare pricing.
Cremation usually costs less than a burial, except when a grave has been pre-purchased.
The person signing the contract with the funeral director will be liable for the payment.
Check for eligibility for assistance from government services.

Burial or Cremation?

Check if the deceased expressed a preference in their Will or any pre-planning documentation.
Cremation usually costs less than a burial, except when a grave has been pre-purchased.
Consider your plans for the future and moving locations. You can take cremation ashes with you, whereas this is not possible with a burial.

Coffins and Caskets

Options to consider include the deceased’s wishes, contemporary or traditional design, your budget and burial or cremation requirements.
Don’t feel embarrassed to ask the funeral director about their lower priced coffins.
You have the right to purchase a coffin/casket from another supplier, although some funeral directors will charge a handling fee.

Funeral Celebrants

A funeral celebrant can provide guidance in delivering a highly personalised service.
They will follow your wishes with regards to spiritual or contemporary content.
Celebrants are experienced at composing a funeral service and can assist you with the writing and delivery of a Eulogy.
You can contact a celebrant directly, or ask your funeral director.

Funeral Flower Choices

A funeral director can organise flowers or you have the option of using a florist of your own choice.
Compare the cost and size of the arrangements being offered by different florists, as they can vary greatly.
Consider the deceased’s favourite flower or colour when making choices.
Inform the funeral director if you wish to take the flowers home with you after the service, or donate them to a nursing home, hospital or church.
You may wish to request donations to a charity in lieu of flowers from guests attending the service.

Wake Venues & Catering

There are many options available to you for after-funeral venues and catering.
There are no rules about refreshments after a funeral service.

Death and Funeral Notices

A Death Notice will not include the details of the funeral service
A Funeral Notice will include an invitation to attend the funeral service with information such as date, time and location
A Thank You Notice is an acceptable way of thanking everyone who supported your Family

Writing a Eulogy

The average eulogy is about 5 minutes long.
It does not have to be a biography of the deceased.
It should be factual, honest and respectful and convey the personality of the deceased.
If in doubt about a humorous comment, leave it out.
Ask for feedback from family and friends.
Rehearse the eulogy but don’t try to memorise it, as emotions may affect your memory on the day.
On the day, go slowly, be calm and take your time.

Funeral Proceedings on the Day

Arriving 15 to 30 minutes before the start of the service is sufficient time.
It is a personal choice as to ‘when and how’ you wish to greet guests.
If it is too difficult to speak, simply thank people for being there.
People will not be shocked if you become emotional.
Your funeral director is there to assist at all times.

Etiquette for Guests at a Funeral Service

Turn your mobile phone off before entering the church or chapel.
Do not talk to a companion during the service.
Bow your head if you do not want to participate in hymns or prayers.
If young children are being noisy, take them discreetly outside
Maintain a sober and dignified air at the refreshments after the service.

Preparation of the Deceased

A funeral director will obtain your permission before proceeding with the care of the deceased.
You can provide clothing for the deceased, and if you wish, assist the staff with the dressing process.
If a particular hair style or make up is important, give the funeral director a photograph of the deceased.
Embalming is the process of preserving the deceased, and may be required in some circumstances eg more than 14 days delay in holding a service, transportation over long distances and religious and cultural reasons.

The Cremation Process

The cremation will usually take place on the same day as the funeral service.
Flowers remaining with the coffin/casket will be disposed of before cremation.
The coffin’s name plate will be removed before cremation, and placed on the ashes container at completion of the process.
If no instructions are received within 12 months, unclaimed ashes are interred within the grounds of the crematorium.

Pet Funerals

Choose either burial or cremation for pets of every type.
Complete services available with a eulogy and refreshments afterwards.
Options available for caskets, grave markers, memorial plaques and storage of ashes.
Your local veterinarian can direct you to community resources, such as pet loss grief counselling and support groups.